The Lesbian Social Network
I was asked by a member to assist in answering this questions so , What do you think. I will start with a point of view , please post asap help is needed for a paper on friday..
In todays society it is assumed that everyone should be s8, one of the most frequently asked question is Am I gay because of the abuse? This comes from the myth that all we need is to get laid by a good man to make us staight. Then it would also be true to make a women gay is to be liad by a good lesbian, truth is that abuse and lesbian are miles apart, somthing as beautiful and exiciting as our sexuality could never have arisen from somthing as ugle and painful as sexual abuse. Not to say that there are not some that turned to women due to abuse , but thats a very small number(kalimunro),, So lets have some input help the sister out
Hmm.. I'm going to have to say that it could be possible for women who have been abused to gravitate towards women out of fear of men.
As for myself, I could not connect emotionally to a man.. I do not fear them, they just make me uncomfortable.
However, I agree with storming, there are many women who have been victim of sexual abuse at one time, all of them are not gay, and I think it may be found that the majority of them aren't gay either. The lesbian population is rather small in comparison to straight. I think the person writing the paper should probably track down some statistics if they can.
ah No,.. abuse does not make someone gay... tthe biochemistry of attraction starts in the brain. Going along with a gay relationship because of having been abused would make you twice as unhappy. Most abused straight women stay in the abusive pattern they learn. I was abused... into acting straight. because I hated myself. There are many reasons why someone will hide in relationships, or allow someone to use them. They may not even know why they stay or seek out the type of relationships they do. But, the biological responce of gender and genuine attraction are not a learned behaviors.
i agree. i really DISAGREE with the whole "gay is a choice" theory. i do not think it is possible to be with someone if you arent innately attracted to that sexuality.
it is possible to 'be with' as in have sex or just live with, someone you are not truely attracted to some do it for money, some do it for a home to raise their children in, there are lots of reasons. That is a choice a person cam make, gay or straight. But having the attraction you can't shake or get away from, that even those of us who believe in God don't get free of. Is not a choice.
No. The only thing abuse can do is change either outlook or circumstances affecting how someone realizes (or denies) their sexuality. I can share many peer-reviewed APA articles/meta-analyses if you're that interested.
Edit: Ah, as Jay stated, pretty much.
please do this person want as much info we could provide her in order to do a project of some sort , so what ever u hav please share.
Generally, No, suffering abuse does not 'make' one gay. Suffering abuse is obviously a very traumatizing experience, it may leave people with a fear of the opposite sex, it may leave them with mental/psychological problems, in terms of being unable to emotionally connect, with anyone, depression, or even guilt may be a result of suffered abuse. But i do not believe anything can 'make' you gay. Whilst there is yet to be any definitive proof of sexuality being nature related or nurture related we can only judge it by means of statistics and self analysis. I myself have never been abused (fortunately), I grew up in a loving family and was always surrounded by males and females. But i am gay. Nothing from my childhood or up bringing, posed the potential to make me gay.
On the other hand, I have a friend who grew up around domestic violence, she witnessed her father beat her mother, always noticed the bruises, and heard the cries. But she is straight, living with a man, they have three kids together, but she has continued on the same path, She lives in an abusive relationship, has attained many black eyes and has been subdued to some of the worst verbal abuse! But she is totally straight.
Should abuse make us gay, then looking from the outside in, she would be the gay one out of both of us. So with this example, and my own personal belief, i would answer No, abuse does not make us gay. This is not to say that people who are abused allow themselves to open up more, sexually, to the same sex, but abused or not, the attraction that each of us feel for the same or opposite sex is something we cannot control.
for me no, however i am not saying that its not true for others, my closest friends are guys, i get on with them really well but i never saw a guy as someone i would be in a relationship with
from my degree i have a small insight into sexual abuse in children and i can see how it can possibly make a person gay, however i know no one where this is the case so i cant really give a definite answer
True, i think some do turn to same sex relationships, because of some deep pain but it the end i think its a very small number- I do think that people today are more out to be with each other out of everyone else is doing it) u know kissing each other as a game or sex just to see what its like so i agree s8 people just exploring - not all but I think alot.
This is complicated for me because i'm in limbo. First off lemme say i don't believe the concept of abuse = gay applies to everyone.....if that occured i couldn't explain why my best guy friend is a flaming homo and why most rape victims are straight.
Now i remember when i was a SMALL child i use to play games with other female friends and i had a bit of a sexual attraction at that time.
Then after that period i forgot girls and i was boy crazed--i was so inlove with this one guy but he verbally and emtionally abused me. My second guy TRIED to rape me after i refused to have sex, because my mom would have killed me and personally i didn't want babies. Later in years, i had huge crushes on female celebrities. but then i met two guys i was so in love with and they nevr abused me but cheated and the other was bisexual and my mom was worried about bisexual men since men are gross and he was acting like a sissy so we broke up--sorta--well just fell apart.
After all this i find my self having on crushes on celebrity men and significant interest in dating women to the point i might be turning into a lesbo--failed lesbo as i'd call it since i love Taylor Lautner <3....
So am I how I am over abuse and bad experiences--I do not know. maybe i was a flaming bisexual from birth. Sexuality is vague--we assume straight people are straight because of how the body is shaped to unite opposite genders--this is logical. But the very fact that animals was be homosexuals too is what makes things stranger, animals don't go abusing each other making one gay =.=
If your attracted to both , there is nothing wrong with that, if ur happy dont beat urself up over it. just be happy .. Your saying alot on here are men lol what do they get out of pretending to be women..?
wellmaybe not alot.. but there are def some